Waging War Against Loneliness
Loneliness is not a new topic, nor do individuals generally scratch their heads when considering what it means to be lonely. Feelings of loneliness could be described as a universal human experience. While this is true, it could also be said that loneliness is a silent killer, and it remains silent because many individuals are unaware of just how detrimental chronic loneliness is to your physical and mental health. Loneliness can no longer be a topic we infrequently explore but a well-versed topic and state of being we are prepared to combat with full force.
According to the 2023 US Surgeon General’s report, loneliness is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is associated with higher odds of premature mortality than physical inactivity, obesity, and air pollution combined. Psychology Today links the risks related to premature death to the increase in stress hormones and inflammation found in individuals suffering from loneliness. Paired with the vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness, we begin to see a clearer picture of why loneliness can be deadly, drawing connections with increased heart disease and cancer rates, among other serious illnesses.
So why is it we don’t discuss loneliness more? Some possibilities include a bias toward believing loneliness is a social dysfunction or the assumption that the person experiencing loneliness is to blame. You may believe that loneliness could not be behind the ache you feel because you have an astonishing number of social connections or are frequently surrounded by others. But that simply is not true. Loneliness is complex and has more to do with the depth of connections. And our individual needs for connection vary, meaning loneliness is subjective.
Given all this information, what can you do if you know someone or you yourself are struggling with loneliness? How do you wage war against loneliness?
Here are a few strategies to get you started:
Join a local group. With an ever-expanding pool of options, you are bound to find a group that can offer a sense of belonging and shared interest.
Consider volunteering at a local non-profit. This will allow you to meet new people and feel a sense of purpose in helping others.
Be vulnerable with those you are connected with already. Try active listening when engaging in conversation, and take a risk in moving your relationships to a deeper level of intimacy.
Seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the tools and skills needed to address your feelings of loneliness and help you move toward living a life that allows you to thrive.
We are built for social connection, and a lack of it can have life-threatening consequences. Being with others and being truly seen and known is not optional if we hope to live fulfilling, healthy lives. It may appear more natural for some than others. Still, we must all work towards being vulnerable and taking the time to notice those around us. I’ve often heard the phrase, “We all come into this world looking for someone looking for us.” Finding our people, and living with deep connections, is something we should all be willing to fight for.
