How to Align Logic with Emotions

We all know the feeling of being overwhelmed by emotions. Flooded with the emotional energy of actual scenarios and the ones we have made up in our minds. When you feel overwhelmed and flooded, it is usually because the logic does not align with the emotion. Or we want to reject the emotion that comes with what has happened or what we believe. Today, I will take you through a Wise Mind strategy from DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) to merge the two sides of our brain together to make the most effective decisions. 

The concept of the Wise Mind combines the logical and emotional sides of our brains. Both sides are necessary for response to situations, but most of us lean one way or another. The logical side of our brain operates on reason and rationality. The emotional side of our brain operates on feelings and “senses.” 

What are the benefits of just operating on logic? There is a coldness in approach to most situations, where you can distance yourself from being too influenced by your emotions or others emotions. There is an intentional focus on the task at hand. 
What are the risks of operating only on logic? Facts are your ruler, and values and feelings are not necessary. There is not much nuance or “grey area” in situations. Situations often tend to be “black or white.” If this is how you operate by yourself, odds are you are bringing only logic to relationships can cause them to suffer.  Emotions are necessary for relationships.

What are the benefits of just operating on emotions? Emotions are the focal point, and living in nuance is a specialty. Searching for the feeling toward a situation doesn’t take long.

What are the risks of operating only on emotions? Situations are seen through whichever mood is currently being experienced. Speaking before knowing or engaging in the rational or evidence-based side of things, ruled by feelings. If this is how you operate by yourself, odds are you are this way in relationships, which can cause them to suffer. Logic is necessary for relationships.

As you read, there are benefits and risks of being “all or nothing” in both of these thinking styles. So how do we merge the two? This is when we bring the Wise Mind. The Wise Mind says to logic, “You can feel some way toward this and still get something accomplished.” The wise mind says to the emotions, “What you are feeling is temporary, be sure to make a decision that will benefit you in the long run.” 

Being grounded in reality is vital to marry these two thinking styles. Reality is tangible. I like to think of reality as if I have experienced it with my five senses, then I can respond. If I have seen, touched, heard, smelled, or tasted it, it is real. Emotions should be looked at as what to ask questions about. If you know what you know, then why do you feel the way you do? 

I will give you a tool that is easy to remember. Think about a feather and a rock. If you are on top of a high building and drop a rock, it will fall quickly. That is your logic. It falls to the ground hard and quickly because it is based on what it is and is not easily influenced by anything outside of it. If you are on top of that same building and you drop a feather, odds are that the feather will be influenced by the wind, cars driving past, and any other outside influences. What we often tend to do is follow the feather. Running to and fro, trying to catch the emotion and hold on to it while stepping over the rock - the things that we know. To offer a more beneficial way to hold the two together, be grounded in the rock and ask questions to the feather. 

It may look something like this: 

“If I know (the reality and logic), then why do I feel (the emotion)?” 

“Since the logic is real, how can my emotions align with that?” 

“Is there something I wish would happen despite what I know? How can I reconcile that within myself?”

“How do I feel in light of what I know?”

Use your wise mind. Emotions and logic are necessary and welcome in your body if you allow it.